I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
