69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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