Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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