good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
