Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
