it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
