porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
