I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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