i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
