All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
