So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
