THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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