There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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