I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
