he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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