She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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