Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
