Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
operation harelip BJ is a go
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
