I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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