If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
