After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
