Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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