He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
