you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
