Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
