at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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