i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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