If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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