Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
