Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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