I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she pinky promised me she was 18
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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