dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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