I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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