We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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