WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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