are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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