If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
