last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize