remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
