Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
