I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
