there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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