yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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