Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Terrible idea I love it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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