so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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