He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lets start a swedish sibling band together
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize