ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
