i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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