Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
