yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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