Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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