I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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