My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
