There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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