whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
