I think my vagina is haunted
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize