We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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