This is not my ceiling
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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