I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
