Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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