We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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