found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
