i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
