we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
