I want to walk on stilts...naked
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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