sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
