Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
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