Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
